Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-950 (?)
- SCP-950 is a seemingly ordinary black clothes dryer that, when run with items inside, will transform whatever is put into it—even non-clothing objects—into entirely different articles of laundry. These resulting clothes are often much dirtier than the original input, frequently covered in various bodily fluids, stains, and sometimes even tears or cuts. DNA samples from the output have matched crime victims, people with illnesses, animals, and even previously unrecorded human or animal DNA. It is kept plugged into an isolated power source in a well-lit room, and all output must be handled with sterile gloves and masks before being incinerated.
- Tube Bar prank calls (?)
- The Tube Bar prank calls were a series of recorded phone calls made between 1975 and 1978 to the Tube Bar in Jersey City, New Jersey, by Jim Davidson and John Elmo, known as the Bum Bar Bastards. The pranksters would ask the bar owner, Louis "Red" Deutsch, to call out fictitious customer names that were puns or homophones for offensive phrases, such as "Al Coholic" or "Mike Hunt". Red, often unaware of the prank, would initially call out the names, but upon realizing he was being tricked, he would respond with extreme hostility, profanity, and threats of violence. These recordings were widely circulated on cassette tapes, becoming known as the "Red Tapes" or "Tube Bar Tapes," and are believed to have inspired a similar running gag in the animated television series *The Simpsons*.